Choose Love

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

                                                                                                                        1 Peter 4:8

After receiving a tearful invitation, I went to meet a friend who was struggling with her feelings. She needed a friend’s ear and perspective. In the parking lot of a grocery store, we sat in her car while I listened to her dilemma. 

Through her sobs, this young wife and mother shared that she was no longer happy in her marriage – her second marriage. She previously struggled through a teenage relationship that wasn’t meant to be. After spending time as a single mother, she was swept off her feet by a man, overwhelmed by his love not only for her but for her son as well. She entered that relationship viewing him as a knight in shining armor. 

Now, she identified his flaws. The armor was tarnished, dented. Her complaints were valid, of course, but also very human. He spent too much time with the guys. He didn’t like spending time with her family. He used bad language around the children. I think he left the cap off the toothpaste too. 

After listening, consoling, and considering her struggle, I asked one question: Do you want to stay married or not? She appeared shocked by my question.

My pastor had recently shared something life altering in a sermon. Instead of praying for a new spouse, pray for the one you’ve got. The things that were driving my friend crazy were annoying but not the end of the world. Her husband had not done anything immoral or abusive. He had a good job and was a hard worker. He wasn’t lazy. He was good with the children. He just wasn’t ideal in her eyes anymore. His armor had definitely lost its shine. 

Think about it though – real knights go into battle. They get dirty, dinged, and damaged by their foe. In life, we all get dirty, dinged, and damaged in one way or another.

Realizing this, the focus of our conversation that day shifted to the idea that the ideal doesn’t exist. Love is a choice. You can be determined to find flaws and focus on what’s wrong or you can choose love. We each have the opportunity daily to make up our mind to be happy. 

For my friend, she could choose to love him or not. Flaws and all. There are no perfect people.  At any time, we could choose to walk away or choose to walk alongside through the good and the bad. 

We all have a choice.

As you walk through life, remember 1 Peter 4:8 states, “ … love covers a multitude of sins.” Not just the sins of others – your sins too.

Think of those closest to you. They choose to love you. 

Their love for you allows ___________. 

Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Compassion. Understanding.

When you allow your love to cover others you create more space for _____________.

Good times. Laughter. Happiness. Joy. 

The next time you look at that friend, spouse, significant other, or even that stranger that cut you off in traffic … “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

You have a choice. 

Choose love.

Dear Lord, 

I am so appreciative that you allow Your love to cover the multitude of sins in my life. Thank you for placing people around me who love me. Flaws and all. Grow my heart, Lord, so that my love overflows covering the people close to me and those I come into contact with each day. 

Amen.

“If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”                                                                                          I John 1:9 (NRSV)

When my daughter was learning to tie her shoes, it was all I could do to hold back and not just do it myself – especially when we were in a hurry. I would say, “Just let me show you … you almost have it but you’re doing it wrong … if you would just …” I quickly learned that she would not accept my help until she absolutely had to. I learned that until she asked for help my comments and pushing were only hindering the process. 

Knowledge of this, however, did not keep me from pushing her along the way as she grew older. Her stubbornness and my nagging didn’t stop with learning to tie her shoes. It extended to learning to swim, riding a bike, helping in the kitchen, playing sports, learning to drive, and ultimately making life decisions like applying to college, looking for a job … and it continues.

Yes, I have always tried to step in. I try to help in an effort to save her headaches and heartaches along the way only to be pushed away until she is ready to ask for assistance or advice. Consequently,  I have learned to be a little more quiet and patient than before. It seems no matter how loud and persistent I am, the choice has to be hers. 

Today’s scripture reminded me that we do the same thing to God. We push Him away. We want to do it all on our own. He offers us help through others, through scriptures, and through grace. Yet, we look in another direction – our will, not His. 

Often it isn’t until we hit a brick wall, land at rock bottom, or see no other way out that we finally ask Him for help.

Like that stubborn child, we refuse to seek His guidance.

It is only when we confess our sins, our needs, and our desires that we finally receive forgiveness, fulfillment, and peace. 

Much like the old adage: Admitting you have a problem is the first step to getting help!

No one is perfect. We are faced with and guilty of sin every day.

Remember to regularly confess your sins to grab hold of true forgiveness. 

Admit your faults. Acknowledge your struggles. Ask for help. 

God is always there with out-stretched arms waiting for us to ask. 

“The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.”      Psalm 145:18 (NRSV)

“When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had been in this condition for a long time, He asked him, ‘Do you want to get well?’”                                                                          John 5:6 (NIV)

Misery loves company. Have you ever known someone who is always negative, always complaining? Do you know someone who seems to enjoy being down and out? I think we all do. 

We all go through seasons of our lives where things aren’t going our way. We have peaks and valleys throughout our lives. Yet some people get to the valley and fail to rise above it. Some of us continually wallow in self-pity over difficult circumstances such as illness or circumstance – our own or others – and some of us have very difficult pasts so everything we see is tempered with a tinge of negativity. If it is too good to be true, it probably is. 

A person can become so low for so long that it becomes comfortable. You don’t know any different. You become complacent. You move into this dark time not as a temporary state but setting up a permanent residence. When you do this, you may as well send out change of address cards to everyone you know. It may say something like this: I’ve moved! You can now find me in a permanent state of despair. Come on over and join me – Misery loves company! Sounds silly, I know. But that is exactly what happens through your words and actions. You push people away or drag them down with you. 

In difficult times, we tend to lose sight of how good life can be. Instead of turning toward God and strengthening our relationship with Him, we turn away from Him – thinking He has abandoned us. The opposite is true – we abandon Him. When we experience this, we have to ask ourselves, “Do I wish to get well?” and turn to our one and only Healer. 

In the scripture, Jesus saw this man who had been in a condition, unable to walk, for a very long time. Then, He asked the man an important question, “Do you wish to get well?” This intrigues me. It seems so simple. You might be thinking – of course, the man wanted to get well and so do all of the others around us who are suffering. You are probably right, but first the hurting person has to acknowledge it. I always tell my family and friends: Admitting you have a problem is the first step to getting help. Of course, I generally say this right after they have made a statement about a fault of their own. 

It is hard to admit our own faults. Especially to admit that we need help. It is scary to admit you want to get well. What if you acknowledge you want to get well and then it doesn’t happen?  What if it does? When you aren’t struggling anymore you have to take on more responsibility. Scary stuff. 

So what is the rest of the story? Verses 8 and 9 tell us, “Jesus said to him, ‘Arise, take up your pallet, and walk.’ And immediately the man became well, and took up his pallet and began to walk.”

If you or someone you know is suffering ask, “Do you wish to get well?” If the answer is yes, then I urge you to take the first step. You must be willing to get well or it won’t work. If you aren’t a willing participant in the healing process, you miss God’s blessing. You may not recognize it when you see it. The man in the scripture didn’t recognize Jesus.

Tell God. Ask for His help. Begin by walking closely by His side. Arise, take up your pallet, and begin to walk.

“As long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.”                                                                                  Genesis 8:22 (NIV)

Growing up and living in the south, I am – on occasion – treated to a ‘snow day’. These impromptu holidays are not brought on by your typical blinding snow storm or excessive accumulation of the white stuff. No, usually a southern snow day is due to freezing rain or a light dusting of snow which paralyzes our city. 

When this happens or there is even a chance of this happening, we stay glued to the television, entranced by each weather update given by a newscaster or reporter relentlessly tracking a snowflake or identifying an icy patch on a roadway. I am sure this is quite humorous to those who live farther north and those in locations where knee high snow drifts are an ordinary part of the landscape.

Yes, sometimes the sunny south does experience the threat of ‘snow’ which causes us to stock up on milk and bread, close our schools and businesses, and huddle around the fire. For whatever reason, we become paralyzed by the idea … even without the visible signs of any wintery precipitation.

It just gets bone-chilling cold and we are frozen.

I understand some of you may live in the bitter cold and the backdrop of your life is filled with snow-covered rooftops so all of this sounds ridiculous. In reality, in this region, we are just not equipped to handle the conditions which are extreme compared to our typical weather. Although, we have made advances over the years to be better prepared in the winter months, our towns still cannot function in the midst of below freezing temperatures and harsh elements.

We remain frozen.

How much does this scenario relate to your spiritual life? Do you sometimes find yourself frozen in worship? Do you approach Sunday morning services as if you will be snowed in, packing your purse or pockets with provisions to get you through? Do you sit frozen on your seat, stiff and unable to move? 

Are you stuck on the side of the road in your journey with Christ? Spinning your wheels, unable to get back on track? Is your spiritual growth at a stand-still?

Are you spiritually frozen? 

This can be caused by extreme eternal factors that are beyond our control or for no visible reason at all.   

We experience ‘seasons’ physically and spiritually. If we don’t make an effort to keep moving and continue growing during wintery times, we become frozen. 

If that is where you are today, then it is time to thaw out, to become active again. The same man that healed the sick, made the blind to see, and caused the lame to walk can help you too.

Let Him thaw out your life and get you moving again. 

Don’t stay frozen. Warm up your spiritual life and cozy up to Christ.

“See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.” Song of Solomon 2:11 (NIV)

(Today it is raining where I am, which is what brought this to mind. Sorry this post is a little later than usual – I hope that means it is right on time for you!)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”                       Romans 15:13

Recently, I was listening to a radio station celebrating a throwback Thursday by playing songs from the 1970s. Enjoying some of the songs from my past, I kept listening and singing along to some of the upbeat tunes I remember from that time. The mood suddenly switched when the melancholy sounds of a 1971 song by The Carpenters began to play, Rainy Days and Mondays.

On that day, I felt a connection with some of the lyrics^*:

Talkin’ to myself and feelin’ old
Sometimes I’d like to quit
Nothin’ ever seems to fit
Hangin’ around
Nothin’ to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down …

At some point while listening, I let out a big sigh and said out loud, “It’s not just Mondays that can get you down and today it isn’t raining.” I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I had run out of joy and it was only 7:45 a.m. I tried to pinpoint what had gone wrong that week to identify what was getting me down.

I had let a momentary circumstance drain me of my joy leaving me empty. Thankfully, before I could spiral too far into the pit of despair, I was digging for myself, I realized I am the one who controls what fills the space in my soul. I can let temporary situations fill me with gloom or choose to be filled with joy to the point of overflowing. 

To literally turn my frown upside down, I tuned in to a different radio station – one with all Christian music. It didn’t take long for my internal gauge of joy to go from empty to half full (not half empty) and ultimately on its way to overflowing. Knowing that the God of hope is my redeemer and sustainer of truth gives me joy and peace all of the days of my life. 

Not just on the sunny days or each day that isn’t a Monday. Every day.

Because I have the joy and peace only He can give, I can abound in hope. That doesn’t mean I get by with just enough hope. I will thrive and flourish because the God of hope provides all that is needed for a better day, a better tomorrow, a better circumstance. 

The next time you feel melancholy, like you need to quit or if nothing seems to fit, reclaim your joy by turning to the One who will fill you with all the joy and peace you need. 

Dear Lord,

Forgive me for letting life get the best of me and allowing myself to be drained of the joy and peace that you so freely give. When I feel there is nothing else, there is hope – eternal hope in You. Where there is hope, there are infinite possibilities. Thank you for restoring my joy

Amen.

*Source: LyricFind      Songwriters: Paul H. Williams / Roger S. Nichols.      Rainy Days and Mondays lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”  Galatians 6:9 NIV

You have probably heard this time and again as I have: You reap what you sow.

True. 

With a career in education, I have experienced and witnessed this firsthand. Nothing thrills me more than to watch someone reap the benefits of hard work over time whether it is a child learning to read or mastering a difficult skill or an adult that continues to nurture and patiently tend to those in their care until they “get it”. Professionally, and personally, it is the time and effort that we pour into any task or cause along with perseverance that makes the difference.

But nobody says how long it will be between the sowing and the reaping.

The passage in Galatians reminds us that reaping that harvest doesn’t happen overnight. “Do not become weary in doing good.” Good things and greatness take time. To develop the greatness in each child, we need adults that won’t give up. Those that are dedicated to entering the classroom each day and removing barriers so that others can succeed; Those that tirelessly give their time to programs that refine student talent in the arts and athletics. In our homes, we need to support and nurture those we are closest to and plant the seeds of kindness, thoughtfulness, and forgiveness in good times and bad.

The harvest comes when we “do not give up” – When we give that child one more chance or continue to practice and give it one more try or give the grace and mercy we expect to receive. Sometimes there are quick wins and sometimes it takes years to see the cumulative benefit of the work that is done. But at that “proper time” we reap the harvest and how sweet it is! 

However, that isn’t the end of the process. You don’t just reap the harvest and then stop. You start to sow again. 

Dedication. Perseverance. Reward. 

Examples are everywhere. 

This came to mind for me this week as I cheered for my alma mater in the College Football National Championship (Go Dawgs). Regardless of your team affiliation or loyalty, you must admit there are admirable stories of dedication and perseverance of individual athletes and coaches that are the foundation of the winning team’s growth and success over time. As I watched the interviews after the game, I felt excited and proud for those young athletes and their mentors, but I couldn’t help thinking, “What happens next?” You enjoy the celebration but then it’s right back to square one – start working on the next season.

Repeat. 

That’s the part we all have to remember. When your hard work finally pays off or you experience the joy of success (no matter how large or small), you must continue to sow and wait for the next harvest. 

Sow. Reap. Repeat. 

It is hard to predict the outcome for the work we do each day. Will the harvest be a bumper crop, or will it be less than sufficient? Either way, after you reap the harvest you have the chance to do it again. You may make changes to improve what you are already doing or change what you sow altogether moving in a different direction. What matters is the dedication to doing good … to improving and persevering. 

Today, be encouraged. 

Know that what you do each day matters. The seeds you are planting must be nurtured and there will be a great a harvest when the time is right. 

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

As I sit quietly taking in our Christmas lights and decorations, I am keenly aware that the season has come to an end. Soon I will pack all of this away until next year.

Looking at our tree whose branches hold our precious ornaments, I can’t help but remember how I unpacked each and hung them with great care finding each the perfect placement for this year’s display. 

Years’ worth of memories unpacked. Numerous milestones represented – marriages, births, friendships (young and old), and each child’s handiwork. There are also new additions to my evergreen time capsule. All very recent, fresh. Some representing unanticipated experiences of this past year. Some physically present and others only in my mind.

I sit and wonder – What’s next?

This New Year is poised to be another one sure to make a unique mark giving me more to unpack next Christmas. 

Some things we know and plan for – vacation, time with family and friends, a move. 

But what about the unexpected? Guaranteed there will be things we don’t see coming – good and bad. 

It’s the science of the New Year. Dependent, Independent, and Uncontrolled Variables of Life. 

It’s also New Year math. Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication and Division. Remember solving for X? The unknown. So frustrating. 

With that knowledge, we step into this New Year of promise and unpredictability. Sound scary? Sound exciting? It can be. Exciting and scary. 

All we can do is step out each day on Faith knowing the only thing that truly matters – our only real guarantee – is Jesus by our side. This thought brings comfort and peace. 

What’s next?

Who knows? Not me and finally (after half a century) I am ok with that. Why? Because God knows and all I have to do is trust in Him – every day, all day.

In this New Year, I pray for your strength and peace in your ‘What’s Next’. 

Let’s see what new memories we will make to unpack in December.

“I looked at the earth, and it was formless and empty, and at the heavens, and their light was gone.”                                                                                                                 Jeremiah 4:23 (NIV)

I reclined in the chair admiring my work. The color-coordinated decorations were just right. Everything perfectly scattered among the branches. I thought to myself, “This is a beautiful tree.  Good job!”

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it … a bare spot. A space totally void of decoration. No glass ornament. No festive bow. Not even a twinkling light. How could this be? A flaw in my perfectly beautiful tree.

I contemplated moving an ornament but that would create a different bare spot. I checked the box of decorations and all of the ornaments for the tree had been used. Unable to find a solution at the moment, I decided the bare spot wasn’t so bad. Right? It would take too much rearranging to try to fix it so I decided to leave it. It was near the back of the tree so no one else would notice.

The Christmas tree is beautiful and I love to sit and admire it in the quiet, dark morning. Yet, each day when I sit down to gaze upon it, I get this feeling that something just isn’t quite right. 

It’s that bare spot. 

I just can’t ignore it. My eyes drift directly toward it each time I pause and take in the sights of this beautiful season. Yet, it is hardly even noticeable.

If you were to visit my home today I bet you wouldn’t be able to spot it. But, I know it is there. 

A bare spot. An empty space.

Our lives during the Christmas season can be similar to this tree. We try to put it all together with everything just right. Yet, there is still a bare spot, something that is missing. An empty space in our tree of life. 

Some bare spots are new. It wasn’t there last year. Then, as hard as we try to fill the void there just isn’t enough stuff or fluff to fill in that space without leaving a gap somewhere else. 

Other bare spots appear each year. They may shrink over time as we collect new things to replace what is broken, lost, or missing, but the original tree will never be the same. 

Sometimes our bare spots are clearly visible to everyone and others we cleverly hide by turning things just to hide the void.

How can this tree be so full yet still empty in that one spot? 

How can I be so full of life yet still feel incomplete?

As hard as I try each year (really each day), everything can’t be just so or always put together just right. No tree is perfect. No life is perfect. We all have a bare spot. But each tree is still beautiful. Our lives are still meaningful. 

Don’t let those bare spots keep you from celebrating the season. Let God help decorate your life and fill in some of those bare spots and embrace the others – you know, the ones that are just part of your tree. 

If you doubt God can fill your void, read Genesis 1:2, “Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the spirit of God was hovering over the water.”  

Just look at the heavens and the earth. God did a pretty awesome job starting with nothing. When we feel formless or empty, He can certainly work wonders with us. 

He is hovering over you now. Let Him fill your bare spot!

“When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, ‘Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.’”         John 6:12 (NIV)

With our children growing up and moving off to pursue their own interest, my husband and I had to learn to cook for two – this proved to be more difficult than it sounds. As a result, we generally have a lot of leftover food after dinner. Many times we have enough to take to work for lunch the next day and sometimes more for another dinner – you have to love leftover night! 

I hate to be wasteful so I save everything that I can. I even bring home the leftovers from restaurants on our date nights. My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t care for leftovers. Many people share his distaste – pardon the pun – for leftover food. I recently watched an entire episode of a cooking show devoted to repurposing leftover food to make it more appealing. However, the reality is that when we save food for later it ends up being wasted anyway. 

I find it interesting in the lesson of Jesus feeding the multitude that when He started with very little food for so many people, He still had leftovers. Of the many things we can learn from this story, I find significance in the leftovers.

Jesus tells us to “let nothing be wasted” which applies to much more than mere morsels left behind on our dinner plates. When I read this scripture, I think about personal leftovers – the leftovers of life. 

In the busyness of life, many of us work so hard at our paying jobs or on special projects that we are left feeling spent – as if we have nothing left to give. We feel like there is never enough time – no time left over to do the things we want to do. We become emotionally and physically drained. We give all that we have outside of our homes and return with only leftovers for those we love. Consequently, leftovers don’t sound too appealing. 

I know at times my family, especially my husband, probably feels that all they get are leftovers – whatever is left of me after I fulfill all of my other obligations. Truthfully, I am not sure my family always gets any leftovers because I have felt that I have nothing left to give. Sometimes I even think I have nothing left to give God. 

Therein surfaces the challenge. 

I know I need to collect all that I have and use it to the glory of God and “let nothing be wasted.” But I have been conditioned to think that leftovers aren’t good enough. 

But that isn’t true. As children of God, we are much more valuable and powerful than we can imagine. God will use every effort we make in His name to expand His kingdom. That truth tells me that the leftovers have worth. 

Leftovers = abundance.  

If you have leftovers then you have more than enough! You can go above and beyond what is required or necessary. You can achieve more. 

Consider this: Leftover money. 

Imagine what you could or would do with an abundance of money after you pay all of your bills. I bet that thought made you smile!

Now, imagine … what can you do with your personal leftovers? Your leftover self. 

Will you do something special with your family? Will you start or join a new program at church? Will you enjoy a new hobby or pursue a lifelong dream?

Work hard and then “gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”

When you utilize your abundance instead of letting it waste away, you are adding to your life and increasing the lives of those around you.

Start today and see how God can work through you and bless you, even with your leftovers.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”     Romans 8:28 (NIV)

“But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you – you of little Faith!”                  Luke 12:28 (NRSV)

While growing up, I learned very early about borders as boundaries. Some borders are very clear: Color inside the lines; Others are invisible – Stay in our yard while you play.

Our yards have borders. Our cities, counties and states have borders – All of which we cross without much thought quite frequently. However, there are also more stringent borders like the country’s border. 

Over time, largely due to political unrest elsewhere and terroristic threats around the world, travel outside of the country and around the world has become more difficult. More identification is required, more safety measures are taken, more rules are in place. 

This can deter people from traveling too far from home. It keeps people from venturing outside of their comfort zone. People are content to view from afar … to participate in virtual travel. Physical borders designed to keep certain things out also have the reverse effect – they keep things in as well.

The original intent of most borders is to define a space – to identify it – to claim it. Borders are certainly necessary in many instances and very useful – unless you are talking about your faith!

Does your faith have borders?

Are you willing to trust God but only to a certain point? Do you stay away from areas outside of your faith comfort zone on purpose? Have you placed limits on your faith so that it makes you uncomfortable to move outside of that space?

I have.

Our faith is not intended to have borders. As Christians we have the ultimate “faith” passport. Yet, we are often afraid to use it.

We worry – What if I go too far? What if I can’t get back? 

We must remember that can’t happen. By definition, faith means leaving your comfort zone. Going beyond your personal borders.

Now is the time to live out our faith – a faith without borders, without boundaries.

Stepping beyond the borders of your faith doesn’t mean you will move to a foreign land and become a missionary – it might. But it also might mean you want to become a stay at home mom, change jobs, go back to school, visit a new church, or start a new program or Bible study at your church.

What or where is God calling you?

Follow your calling. Go there. God will go with you. 

Trust Him and step out in your faith. 

Don’t let invisible boundaries contain you. Go beyond your borders!

“Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?” Job 11:7 (NIV)